As I described in my article “What to do after a fall”, relapse prevention is not about strength or willpower, it is about the work we have done, leading up to that point. If our recovery is strong we are not as vulnerable to dangers as if we were not in recovery at all. Part of having a strong recovery is also about staying away from dangerous people, places and things. We are not invulnerable and, as the saying goes, if you keep going to the hairdresser you’ll get a haircut. If we keep hanging out with our using-buddies and going to the parties we used to go to, we will end up doing what we did there before. Recovery is not about adapting to be safe in the dangerous places we’re used to, it’s about changing our lifestyle. When I entered rehab I deleted my Facebook account and got a new cell number. Leaving rehab I moved into a shared sober house. I went to meetings and I hung out with recovery people after meetings. I did this until I was strong enough to reintegrate myself into “normal” society. And when I did I sought out and built a new lifestyle.
So the crux of what I’m saying above is that our starting point and direction (intent) are the foundation of a strong recovery.
Aside from that just keep doing the next right thing and maintain a connection with your higher power – to the best of your ability. The proper use of will power is to form the discipline required to follow your program.
Meetings
It is recommended in the beginning to do your 90/90 (90 meetings in 90 days). This will get you into a good routine and, most importantly, it will keep you out of your head! Often if you don’t feel like a meeting, that’s when you need one most. Sometimes it’s easier to isolate yourself but I’ve seldom been to a meeting where I didn’t feel better after.
Sponsor
Your sponsor is your spiritual guide through the 12 Steps. They are that person who has what you want. If you follow the steps they took to get where they got then you can do the same. Use your sponsor to practice reaching out and asking for help. If you have any big decisions to make, run it by your sponsor – our best thinking got us here, maybe we should find a second opinion! 😉 Obviously, we should never follow anyone blindly, we are all human after all, if your gut is telling you that something is off then talk to someone else for their perspective.
Step work
This is the work. This is the core of the program. This is what will give you the spiritual awakening, the direct result of which is to relieve the desire to use. I give a breakdown of the steps in the Addiction Recovery Framework, please have a look if you haven’t already.
Service
Finally, “service keeps you clean”. Following my active addiction and since I started attending meetings I never felt lonely. Getting to meetings and connecting with people gave me that sense of community. By doing service we have an extra opportunity to work alongside with and get to know other volunteers. If you find a meeting you like and want to make your regular meeting then get a service position there, it will keep you coming back, even when you don’t feel like it! Aside from these benefits, there is a spiritual aspect to doing service which helps us to lean into humility and being connected, as a part of the whole.